do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
