she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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