Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
