I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
