are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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