If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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