i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
