Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
