Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize