Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
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You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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