Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
