We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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