3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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