don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
