whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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