gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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