I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize