Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
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Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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