I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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