BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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