Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize