im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
