I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
