:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
