I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize