Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize