singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
