I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
