I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
