so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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