i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Need sex. Gaining weight.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
