I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
