I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
