been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
