It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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