My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
