Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
