just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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