there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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