So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
should my penis look like a turkey
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
