I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
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I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
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Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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