there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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