I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come you make the beer taste better
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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