i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize