Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You're so nebulous sometimes
i just wanna soil my oats bro
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
