I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize