There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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