help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize