That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize