This girl is more easily done than said...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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