But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
