it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
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At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
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Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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