Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Quick, to the slutcave!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
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the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
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This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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