Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
