Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
