theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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