I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
