Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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