A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
